TestImonies

The spring of 2023 was a true spiritual low point for me. I became acutely aware of this while on vacation in Utah, which is generally a recharging time for me (as vacations should be). With distractions out of the way for a week or so, the only thing that this vacation accomplished was to show me how spiritually depleted I was. My spiritual “gas tank” was nearly empty, and my vacation wasn’t refilling it.

As I poured out my heart to God in desperation, He prompted me to humble myself and ask for some serious prayer. Clearly, I wasn’t going to dig myself out of this pit on my own. On my way back from vacation I reached out to one of the other elders at Grace Fellowship, Andy Dozier, and he coordinated putting together a team from church to pray for me.

June 26, 2023 stands in my memory as a day nearly as significant to me as the day that I trusted in Jesus as my Savior and Lord, over 50 years ago. A group of a half-dozen brothers and sisters in Christ gathered around me as we worked through several hours of healing and freedom prayers. I felt so loved as God stripped away lies and fears that I had been believing and replaced them with His love through my friends. The time was joyous and passed by very quickly! One sister gave me a prophetic word based on 2 Timothy 1:7 that continues to encourage me today. God truly worked through His word and His people. My spiritual gas tank has been refilled and I am so thankful!

A bonus testimony from that prayer session was my physical healing from a low blood sugar condition (hypoglycemia). Prior to that prayer session, for years I had had to eat something every few hours, or my body would rebel (think “hangry” spells!). You could have set a clock by when my body told me that I had to eat. Since June 26, those hypoglycemic incidents have completely disappeared! I praise Jesus for His healing of my body, soul, and spirit, and I am grateful for friends who were willing to step into my mess when I needed them! 

A good friend of mine in Grace Fellowship was caring and attentive enough to suggest to me I needed inner healing prayer. I didn’t realize it, and I was a little apprehensive about the process. In the prayer session, my Lake City friends focused mostly on some specific things that were traumatic to me as a teenager. The process was amazing. I have had stomach and digestive issues for about 50 years, and I’ve felt so much better since the healing prayer. Also, I haven’t slept well consistently in many years, and now am sleeping better and more peacefully than I can remember. My husband and I are now taking the Orbis inner healing classes online to learn and understand more. I thank God for His healing work! 

On March 28, 1998, I made a vow and 20 years later I began to question, regret, resent, and  to look for a way out of this vow. For six years I battled against the tension of the ways of the world and the Spirit in me; doubts and questions swirled in my head. Some days it was all I could think about, and I was starting to feel like I was going crazy. God gave me little glimpses of hope and words of encouragement, but I could not manufacture feelings of a wife toward my husband. I felt stuck. My vow was made before God and could not see a way out. Divorce had never been an option; that would have been a win for the enemy, and I am stubborn and loyal. Only death would part us, but this marriage we were portraying in the meantime was not fair to either of us.
I’d been watching God transform my husband into the man I thought I’d married, but I still did not like him; I couldn’t make myself like him. Divorce became the last and only option. But before I could even begin to construct such a conversation, God did a mighty work in my heart. He reminded me of His never-ending forgiveness He extended to me. He reminded me of the deep love He has for me. He showed me that perfection in myself or my spouse would never be enough. Only He would be enough…to fill every void, to right every wrong, to heal every wound, to change and transform a heart of stone into a vessel that could receive and extend love and grace.
In a weekend, God showed me the unforgiveness I was still holding onto. He walked me through forgiving myself so that I could forgive my husband. He transformed our marriage and in a moment, six years became a bur as the weight was lifted off of me and I was able to enter back into an intimate relationship with my husband.

Abby is a beautiful 18 year old miracle. In the summer of 2023, before her senior year she was traveling to Florida to visit family with her mother and brothers and as she approached the baggage area in the Florida airport experienced a devastating aneurism and she found herself fighting for her life in a Florida hospital. So many God provisions in this moment with available help and hospital and doctors. I know Abby through my grandchildren and her mother but was so touched and crushed knowing the critical battle that was happening for her. We were in Lake City for the summer and meeting with Grace Fellowship so I asked this church to pray. Pray for Abby to wake up. All summer we prayed weekly together for this beautiful girl. In his graciousness God answered with “Yes!”. The journey is not over, her story is still being written but we give God praise for his mercy. She will attend AbIlene Christian University in the fall. Her mother wrote the following:

“Senior Sunday April 28. Abby sang Wednesday night and had an amazing time of blessings over the seniors. We were asked by the elders what to pray over us. Our response was healing and restoration. God has been working on my heart and I realized that we need peace in the waiting and contentment if that healing does not come in the way we want it to. In the meantime we are going to continue celebrating Abby and all her accomplishments!! One more week of school for her and two more weeks till graduation!! It’s a busy season but loving all of it! 

Abby wears the tshirt in the picture to big events. It’s her warrior shirt. This shirt breaks my heart but also reminds me of the miracle she is and of God’s blessings. She wore that tshirt on our flight to Florida and it had to be cut off before they placed the external drain in her head. It reads On Earth as it is in Heaven.”

 God loves your marriage…

Because the enemy is prowling around in his mission to steal, kill, and destroy. Sometimes marriages can be broken. One of Satan’s prime targets is our marriages…he loves to destroy them because there is strength in our marriages. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Satan hates our love for one another. He hates our friendships…he hates our families…and he hates our marriages because the marriage relationship represents the relationship Christ has with His church…  Ephesians 5:31-32 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”  This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

I know a little about Satan’s desire to destroy our marriages. Not too long ago he had his foot on the throat of my marriage. He was ready to stomp and end it. Right now, you might be thinking, “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” Well, all you need to know is I didn’t kiss my wife for six years!

One thing I did during those six years was pray. And for the last year and a half of the six years, almost every night, I prayed out loud lying in our bed right next to Rachel. Sometimes I would ask if I could hold her hand. I remember one time she reached over and grabbed my hand. Sometimes I would ask her if she wanted to pray, but she couldn’t…not out loud with me. So, I didn’t push it. What I know now is she was praying also. I didn’t know it at the time, but something was happening. I was changing! Holy Spirit was working in me and transforming me more and more into the man God created me to be. Notice I didn’t say, “Transforming me into Rachel’s husband.” I had to submit and be willing to be the man He created me to be before I could be Rachel’s husband.  

The other thing I did was learn to worship. I started putting together the worship songs for our Saturday night services. Those services were in our home for about eight months. I would weep while Holy Spirit led me to songs. I would weep while I sang them. All of a sudden, I realized I had to stand up while I worshiped and wept. Then, all of a sudden, I was doing something I always thought was a little strange. I was raising my hands while I worshiped and wept! All of a sudden, I could feel Holy Spirit moving in me. He was guiding me to Truth!

I’m sure you noticed, but I used the phrase, “all of a sudden” three times in 10 sentences. It was intentional! Even though the transformation took a year and a half, it felt like it happened, all of a sudden. It felt as if I had never worshiped any other way.  

So, to recap. The two things I did in hopes of God restoring my marriage were pray and worship. In response, He changed me! I should add here, one thing I didn’t do was try to change Rachel. I did my best to trust the Lord with that. Six years of praying, with the last year and a half paying out loud right next to Rachel never knowing if she was praying or even caring. A year and a half of learning how to worship, invite, and welcome Holy Spirit into my presence. But still, it didn’t seem as if anything was happening.

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In April of 2024 Rachel and I went on a retreat. There was a men’s weekend first and then, the next weekend, there was the women’s weekend. We went on our individual retreats, and it seemed to me the way the retreats were focused, they would just drive us further apart. But the night Rachel got home from her weekend, after being home for a while, I think her words were, “Hey…I’ve got something for you.” Then…she hugged me, and she didn’t let go for a while! It was the first serious, intentional affection I had received from her in six years! I had no idea what to do! Talk about freaking out, I was in shock. But then it was over. Nothing else happened. Luckily, our friend that sponsored us for the retreat told me, “Give her (Rachel) space and time when she gets home from the retreat.” So, I played it cool. I was Danny when he didn’t know how to act around Sandy…(reference Grease…John Travolta and Oliva Newton John). The next day Rachel asked me if I wanted to go to Gunnison with her. So, in my best Danny I said, “Sure, I’ll go.” We talked and she asked me questions about the retreat. It was a nice day. I tried not to think too much about it. Then, that night, Rachel kissed me…ON THE LIPS! And then she said something I hadn’t heard in six years, she said, “I love you.” She had said “love ya” often over the years just like you would say to a friend, “Okay…see ya later…love ya.” But this time it was different. This time it was intentional. This time it was personal. She owned it, “I love you!”  And “All of a sudden” (there’s that phrase again) everything was new. It was as if those six years had never happened. No regrets! No ill feelings! Just love! Forgiveness! Restoration!

2 Peter 3:8 “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day"

I think that has something to do with, “All of a sudden.” God made time. It’s his. He owns it. He can do whatever He wants with it.  So, what’s my point? Pray. Worship. Be patient. God can restore your marriage or relationship. He will most likely work to restore your relationship with Him first. It’s what He does. It is part of the metanarrative of the Bible:Creation – Fall – Redemption – RESTORATION!

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

John 4:23 But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way.

Numbers 6:24-26  ‘May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.’